No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
