Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
