so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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