when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
