the day after is always just damage control
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
