I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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