Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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