He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You can't just leave with hair like that
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
