My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
