I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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