I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
