people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
