i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
