Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
