this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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