We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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