it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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