I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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