I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
