Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
