Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
