well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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