i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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