Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
