You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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