There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
