I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
