that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize