i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
