I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
