Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
