I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
sarcasm needs its own font
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
