I'm drive I can fine osifer
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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