I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
jump out the window naked night went bad
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