She said her name was "party"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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