ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize