I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
