so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
