How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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