You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I got inside last night via doggy door
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
