i'm signing you up for texting rehab
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
