Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Tornado booty call.. dedication
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
