The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
