Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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