I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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