i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize