how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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