so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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