PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
