Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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