Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
