CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
