Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
