Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
