your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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