God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
