filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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