I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
