Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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