We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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