I just made out with a guy for $7.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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