I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
