# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
