Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
