There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize