It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
