Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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