what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
