erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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