you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
