so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
