if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize