It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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