about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
