my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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