I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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