Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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