New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She announced her abortion via fbk
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
