We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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